Ponderings of a Stay-At-Home Mom {re-post}


{I originally posted this on my other blog, 3scoops, a couple of weeks ago, and am only brave enough to share it over here now! I do feel the message is an important one despite my sometimes heated opinions ;)}


So, I have struggled in deciding whether or not these words I have written are something I want to have out on display for everyone to see. And I have come to the conclusion that although they open me up to be vulnerable in ways beyond my comfort level, if they are able to reach just one person who feels the same or help to alter the opinion (or words) of somebody who knows someone in a similar position, then it’s worth it.

This past week my husband lost his job. Being a one-income family this has been particularly startling as it means our only manner of providing for our family has been terminated.

Now this isn’t meant to be a “poor me” sob story. I have every faith in hubby’s ability and drive to find work under pressure and our determination to do what it takes to protect and provide for our family.


Where my frustrations lie has been largely with how others (all very well intentioned people in our lives) have reacted to this news:

“At least you can just go back to work now”

“Good thing you have a career to fall back on”

“Are you going to go back to work?”

Hi world – I AM working – long days (and most nights), my salary is sticky kisses and “I Love You’s”, and my patience quota is tested daily. I work hard, I’m not sitting here in my bathrobe, sipping mimosas, while my children run feral. Our days are filled to the brim with outings, learning activities and love, meant to enrich my kids in their childcare setting, which also happens to be their home. Not to mention I save our family upwards of $600 a week on preschool and daycare costs (if only savings were cash in hand ;)). It’s exhausting to constantly feel the need to defend our choices, I so wish us moms were not under this constant gaze of judgement, trapped in a Panopticon.


I feel that at some point in the hustle and bustle of this rat race of life people have come to weave together the value of money with the worth of a person…and it just isn’t accurate. We are all worthy and each of us is doing what is best for OUR family in our own unique circumstance (and this is precisely why we all defend our own choices with such fervour!)

…{and now I’m rambling} But please remember that our words carry weight and that a simple kindness is a white flag of sorts, showing others that we come in peace. Let’s all just call a truce on these “Mommy Wars” here and carry our white flags of kindness high and proud, because all of us are worthy of a little kindness, free of judgement; regardless of which Mommy-camp we belong to. Afterall, we face our toughest critic everyday in the mirror and she already has us questioning every single decision we make. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.  Can’t that be enough?


And yes, I will be returning to work, tomorrow and everyday, here in our home – business as usual.